See This Little Guy? The Romans Loved Him. Especially Roasted in Honey!

The ancient Romans thought dormice made fine little appetizers. On page 301 of my novel, Cleopatra Selene watches Maecenas pop "a tiny roasted dormouse whole into his mouth and crunch the tiny bones with relish...He gave me a sly look as he licked the honey off his fingers."

Dormice were farmed in large pits or terra cotta containers. The Romans liked their tiny rodents rolled in honey and poppy seeds, then roasted to perfection. They often served them along with sizzling sausages over plums and pomegranate seeds.

The video of the snoring dormouse (found here--totally adorable) making the internet rounds made me think of the Romans' strange tastes. But it also got me wondering--did they eat the fur too? Along with the tail? And those adorable little ears?

Ack.

Fortunately, the Romans also loved cake. Lots and lots of cake. Made with cheese. Cheesecake. Thanks the gods for cheesecake.

Ancient Fact of the Day: Romans Partied Hard in December

The ancient Romans celebrated so many holidays it's a wonder the empire didn't fold in on itself from over-partying. December in particular was fairly bursting with celebrations:

December 11--the holiday glut began with the Agonalia, a festival so old, even the Romans weren't exactly sure what it was about. Except for the sacrifice of a ram. Everyone agreed the ram must die.

December 15--next was the Consualia, a festival to honor the god Consus, protector of grains and underground storage. The first part of the Consualia took place in August, but it came around again in December. The holiday also honored horses and mules by giving them the day off. Except for those that were forced to race each other at the circus in honor of their day off.

December 17--the Saturnalia was the midwinter celebration that involved conical hats, gift-giving, decking the halls with boughs, gambling and lots of drinking. It started out as a single day of celebration but over the centuries turned into a week-long party. Io Saturnalia!

December 19--in the midst of Saturnalia partying, one had to take a break to celebrate the mother goddess, Ops with the Opalia festival. Because she said so.

December 21--the Divalia came after that, because the goddess Angerona wanted a piece of the action.  The pontifices (priests) sacrificed at her temple, sometimes also called the temple of Voluptas, the goddess of sensual pleasures. No word on what else they did in the temple of the goddess of bliss.

December 23--the Larentalia honored the household god, Lares, who protected the house and family. It also honored the woman who fostered Romulus and Remus though some say it was actually a celebration of Larenta, a prostitute called "Lupa" (she-wolf) who donated the fortune she amassed from her "career" to the Roman state.

December 25--celebrated the Persian god Mithras's birthday. Mithras was also known as Sol Invictus (the unconquered sun). The emperor Aurelius turned the 25th into a public festival of the new sun.

Clearly, December's craziness has a long and storied history. So, do like the Romans and party on!

Ancient "Fun" Fact of the Day: Ancient Romans Performed Human Sacrifice

Don't believe me? Read Polybius. He claims that on two different occasions during the Punic Wars, Romans buried alive humans as offerings to the gods. However, they didn't kill Romans (first it was two Greeks, then two Gauls--a man and woman each time). Each time, they buried the victims alive in a desperate plea to the gods to save Rome from destruction at the hands of Hannibal, their Carthaginian enemy.

The Romans also sacrificed young women during times of crisis (though they didn't think of them as "sacrifices."). These were the Vestal Virgins--young women whose states of virginity somehow protected Rome from all manner of evil and mayhem. Several Vestal Virgins were accused of being unchaste during the wars with Hannibal as well as during other crises and periods of unrest. Many were put to death for these "crimes" (buried alive in a special chamber just for that purpose). The aim was to appease the gods and restore balance and protection to Rome.

The Greeks also sacrificed people (think of poor Iphigenia). Plutarch tells us that Themistocles had three Persian young men sacrificed before battle against Xerxes because a prophet told him he should. And besides, "a man sneezed on the right, which was an intimation of a fortunate event."

I guess the lesson is, don't sneeze on someone's right!

Bachmann and Her Ilk = Crazy Romans in Modern Dress

Michelle Bachmann claims that Hurricane Irene was God’s way of telling American politicians to cut spending—her way, of course.

Bachmann is not alone in her Delphic ability to read divine will through natural phenomena. She follows in the footsteps of another former presidential candidate, Pat Robertson, who claimed that the earthquake in Haiti was the fault of a “pact with the devil” and that flying a rainbow flag would cause, among other disasters, tornadoes.

As an ancient history buff, I can’t help but think that Bachmann and Robertson are actually nothing more than superstitious ancient Romans in modern dress.

Put a toga on ‘em and the Romans would’ve completely “gotten” them (except for the female part, but that’s another post). After all, the ancient Romans also believed that the gods spoke to humans through strange “signs” from nature.  And, more importantly, that only certain “privileged” and/or “wealthy” human beings had the right to interpret those signs.

Oh, and the fact that their interpretations always pointed in their favor? Pure coincidence!

Watch kids expressions in history when you tell them that Romans disengaged from battle if chickens were “off their feed,” or if lightning struck a statue.  Watch their head-shaking, smirking sense of disbelief when you tell them that the Roman Senate put the final nail in the coffin of freedom thanks to a guy in a wool shawl who swore he saw a strange cloud form over a funeral pyre.*

And yet here we have a presidential candidate doing the very same thing!  She and her ilk are dressing up ancient superstitions and putting them on TV.  Our inability to laugh her out of town is exactly why it’s so important to study history.  Analyzing what happened in other eras when people swore that a natural phenomenon "meant" something political allows us to pause for a moment and examine our own behavior. It holds up a mirror so that we can see the many ways in which irrational thinking persists in modern politics.   

The point is this:  if we can roll our eyes and smirk at the crazy, fear-based leaps in logic the ancients made, perhaps we can call out our own politicians trying to manipulate us in the same way.

Even better, perhaps we can convince ourselves to stop listening to them at all.

*I am referring to how the Romans voted to deify Augustus after his death because one guy saw a cloud emerging into the heavens from his pyre (which is, um, what smoke clouds do, right?), forever closing the door to a return to a more democratic/Republic form of government.

 

'Tis the Season, According to the Romans

"Darling, your fig cakes are divine. Now what did you get me?"       

In ancient Rome, winter break meant schools closed, law courts adjourned and everybody celebrated by decorating trees, visiting friends, exchanging small gifts, and feasting.

Sound familiar?

They weren’t celebrating Christmas, though, which wasn’t officially acknowledged as a Christian holiday until the 4^th century CE. Instead, they enjoyed the awesome holiday known as Saturnalia.

Saturnalia was such a popular winter festival it grew from a single day ceremony (usually December 17) to a full eight days of partying.

And just to remind ourselves that the more things change, the more they stay the same, even the ancient Romans fretted about a holiday culture overrun by excess. Check out what Seneca, the 1^st century CE stoic philosopher, wrote to a friend about staying centered during the holidays:

“…perhaps this is the very season when we should be keeping the soul under strict control, making it unique in abstaining from pleasure just when the crowd are all on pleasure bent…Remaining dry and sober takes a good deal more strength of will when everyone about one is puking drunk.”

Replace “is puking drunk” with “has overextended credit” and it looks as if Seneca had our number more than two thousand years ago.

Merry Saturnalia! Happy Christmas!

The Dirt on Cleopatra's Makeup

The Roman poet Lucan is like the Perez Hilton* of the ancient world: snarky, gossipy and full of dirt on the glitterati.  Take, for example, his description of Cleopatra as a “fatal beauty,” “thick” with cosmetics. 

Oh snap! The ability to complement and insult someone in the same breath was obviously a fine art way before Hollywood even had hills. Later in the same poem, Lucan breathlessly describes one of Cleopatra’s gowns as see-through. You can almost hear the ancient hisses of mock outrage and lascivious curiosity.

My point (and I do have one, I swear) is that when we talk about ancient cosmetics, we have to distinguish how the Romans perceived makeup—as a tool to enhance female beauty, versus how the Egyptians looked at it—as a religious requirement for both men and women.

Cleopatra, of course, wore makeup. Everybody in Egypt did—men, women, kings, queens, servants, children and grandparents.  Why? Because you honored the gods and called upon their protection when you anointed yourself in that way.

Unfortunately, that protection did not extend to brain damage—especially as most of the materials comprising ancient makeup were metal and lead-based. Green malachite came from copper rocks and black kohl was made from lead compounds. Yes, the ancient Egyptians applied more neurotoxins to their faces than Hollywood starlets on a Botox binge.

To apply these lead-based powders, they mixed them with—wait for it—duck fat to make a paste.  Greasy goodness, no?  Thankfully, the ochre (red dirt) that they spread on their lips and sometimes, on the souls of their feet, was mixed only with water.

Various implements such as palettes, flat-tipped styluses, and sponges were used to apply the gobs of stinking duck fat—er, I mean the gorgeous khols—to their eyes.

Modern scientists have discovered that the ancient Egyptian belief in makeup as protection from illnesses may have sprung from practical or medicinal observations. It turns out the lead salts used in kohl actually protected wearers from certain eye diseases. 

So while Cleopatra may have worn make-up—as Lucan says—to make herself into a “dangerous beauty,” more likely, she wore it because of religious traditions and a need to protect herself from common eye diseases. After all, we couldn’t have the queen of the Nile walking around with goopy eyes now, could we?

*A controversial, gossipy, sometimes cruel Hollywood blog.