Ancient "Fun" Fact of the Day: Ancient Romans Performed Human Sacrifice

Don't believe me? Read Polybius. He claims that on two different occasions during the Punic Wars, Romans buried alive humans as offerings to the gods. However, they didn't kill Romans (first it was two Greeks, then two Gauls--a man and woman each time). Each time, they buried the victims alive in a desperate plea to the gods to save Rome from destruction at the hands of Hannibal, their Carthaginian enemy.

The Romans also sacrificed young women during times of crisis (though they didn't think of them as "sacrifices."). These were the Vestal Virgins--young women whose states of virginity somehow protected Rome from all manner of evil and mayhem. Several Vestal Virgins were accused of being unchaste during the wars with Hannibal as well as during other crises and periods of unrest. Many were put to death for these "crimes" (buried alive in a special chamber just for that purpose). The aim was to appease the gods and restore balance and protection to Rome.

The Greeks also sacrificed people (think of poor Iphigenia). Plutarch tells us that Themistocles had three Persian young men sacrificed before battle against Xerxes because a prophet told him he should. And besides, "a man sneezed on the right, which was an intimation of a fortunate event."

I guess the lesson is, don't sneeze on someone's right!

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

Little known inventions of the Greeks:

Texting on the toilet.

The Victoria's Secret Catwalk.

(Started out as "Victor's Secret."

Bejeweling family jewels came later.)

 Pilates.

If You Can't Laugh at the Ancients, Who CAN You Laugh at, Right?

"Ooops," Poseidon said as his mantle billowed behind him.
"Maybe I shouldn't have had bean burritos for lunch."

"Really, dear. Stop worrying. A little extra
time in the tanning booth never hurt anyone!"

Whoa. "What? Oh no, your butt doesn't look big

in those jeans. Not at all."

Photo: Flickr/AlaskaDude

Source: HistoricLOLs.com

Early water fountain prototype:
"Oh, I see. Press this button here and out it comes there."

Celebrating the Season The Ancient Greek Way

The ancient Greeks celebrated the winter solstice by partying in the name of Poseidon.

Go Fish King!

Why they honored the sea god when the sun was at its weakest—instead of Zeus the sky god or Helios the sun deity—is not clear.  Still, the Greeks bolstered winter light by creating their own mini suns with candles and communal bonfires.  

The Greeks also celebrated Poseidon’s renowned randiness (did you know he seduced a pretty maiden named Medusa before her hair got all snaky?) with a little bit of dirty dancing of their own.  What else they must have figured, what were the longer, darker nights for, if not for creating their own private earthquakes?

(You know, because Poseidon was responsible for earthquakes…never mind.)

So, when our own celebrations get a little overwhelming, you could thank your lucky stars that at least you don’t have to attend a bonfire fish fry or a communal, all-night…um, “dance” party.

Or, you could find yourself wishing some ancient winter solstice celebrations never quite disappeared. May your next fish fry be merry!