On the Kindness of Children's Book Authors

The Southern Kentucky Book (SOKY) Festival rocked for so many reasons: I got to hang with Kristin Tubb, met Cynthea Liu in person, and made new connections with the awesome Philana Marie Boles and Jen Bradbury. But I will always remember it as the festival where fellow author Tracy Barrett brought me a special surprise.

Tracy and I had never met face-to-face, though she was one of the first people I contacted when I joined the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) and sought out help for submitting my first book, Alexander the Great Rocks the World.

She jumped in with several suggestions. Over the years, Tracy--the author of 17 books for kids-- continued helping in other ways. I was SO excited to thank her in person. Here's how it went:


Me:      Yay, we finally meet!

Tracy:  Oh, I have something for you. I read your post about how you forgot your Cleo Action Figure
            at home, and I was at the Getty museum so I picked this up for you. 

Me:      ???????????? *Chin drops to floor* *All words leave brain*

Tracy:   Smiles.

Let me point out just how inadequate the words "Thank You!" are in times like these. 'Cuz even though I lamely uttered them, they in no way captured how touched I was by her thoughtfulness and generosity. I mean, come on!  Who DOES that?

Back home, though, drag-queen Cleo was not amused.  After all, Cleo (with cat!) wore pretty blue eye-shadow. Only on her, it looked feminine. On drag-queen Cleo, the blue very nearly brought out the five o'clock shadow on "her" GI-Joe square jaw. Big Cleo was NOT happy.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I came across this scene:

"No! You may not hurt Cleo (with cat!)," I told her. "Use your words to express how you feel."

Drag-queen Cleo rolled her eyes, got in mini-Cleo's face and growled, "I will CUT you and leave you for the fishes in the Nile if you ever take my spotlight again. I will use my big man-hands to throttle--"

"Stop!" I interrupted. "Never mind."

It was easier to separate them.

Despite drag-queen-Cleo's less than gracious welcome to mini-Cleo (with cat!), I for one am thrilled at the addition. And very grateful for the incredible kindness of fellow children's authors.

Cleopatra Action-Figure Spotted in South Georgia

While traveling in Americus, Georgia, Queen Cleopatra VII took a liking to a magazine called, Garden & Gun.

The last queen of Egypt explains the wisdom of combining gardens with guns.

"I am quite impressed," she explained, "by this unique and delicious combination of the feminine and masculine, of the sweet and the violent.

"The Garden part lures the reader in with the promise of beauty and perfume from southern blooms and then--POW!--one's mind is blown by the shocking and unexpected violence of the Gun part.

"Brilliant, really!" continued the queen. "For, as you well know, this was the secret to my success--the sudden shift from a seemingly non-threatening position (possibly even appearing defeated) to the violence of an unexpected attack."

The great queen, of course, is referring to the time she outwitted her younger brother's henchmen by sneaking into her royal palace all snug in a rug (or bedroll) so that she could negotiate privately with the man of the hour, Julius Caesar. This move ultimately resulted in the Alexandrian War and the complete and utter defeat of her enemies.

The queen points to her favorite part of the magazine.

She also pulled the "Garden and Gun" trick upon her greatest enemy, Octavian. She told him she wanted to pray by Marc Antony's tomb (the flower part--playing the loving, devoted consort) and then whipping out an Egyptian cobra (the gun) to die on her own terms.

"I was the quintessential Southern Lady before you all even knew there was a south," explained the queen. "Indeed, it is a little known fact that the term 'Steel Magnolias' originated with me though, in my time, I was referred to as the 'Bronze Lotus.'"

As the queen left the platform, she was heard to mumble, "Steel magnolias, my asp. I'd wilt all them blue-haired ladies into a pile of pollen with just one look."

Cleopatra Action-Figure at the Ballet

After our "gummy"-asp photo shoot, I've been inspired to bring my wonderful Cleopatra action figure with me wherever I go.

Yesterday, it was to the ballet where she showed off her "man-hands" in a lovely fifth-position arm position. 

Then, because our feisty queen needed to prove that she was way cooler than any other action figure in the room, showed off her fourth-position arms because she COULD.  Go drag-queen Cleo!