Friday, March 4, 2011

Win a Free Book with Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

Let's have a contest! The person who comes up with the funniest line/caption for the following photo wins a free copy of my book, CLEOPATRA RULES!  This is, by the way, a fresco painting from an ancient Roman villa.

Post your line in the comment section or email me.  Here goes:

Meanwhile, here are my Friday Funnies for the week.

"Dude, I cannot believe I fell for it when you said riding naked didn't hurt!"

"All right, who put the growth hormones in the Ibis feed?"

"Hmm, if I put a bucket between chariot wheels, I could have the world's first port-a-potty, right?"

"When only the freshest sushi will do!"

Don't forget to give our ancient diver a funny caption. You could make a big splash AND win a free book!


Elizabeth O. Dulemba said...

Well, I have to play even though I already own my own signed copy of CLEOPATRA RULES (which I highly recommend)...

"Oh no, who drained the pool?!"


Unknown said...

I've got two.

1) "I've got Adonis DNA" fulfills the nexus between this week's requisite Charlie Sheen quote and an ancient fresco.

2) Narcissus puts the move on.

Robyn Lucas said...

"I believe I can flyyyyyyyyyy"

@Justin- LOL!!

Narukami said...

Lucius Aelius Seianus, commander of the Praetorian Guard, was thrown from the Tarpeian Rock, scoring a perfect "10" for style and execution.

Gail said...

Okay, here's mine:

"Crap! Is that a lightning strike? So much for that Olympic diving career!"

Vicky Alvear Shecter said...

These are awesome. You guys are cracking me up. Keep 'em coming!

Cathy C. Hall said...

Hmmmm...yeah, I have the book, too. But the funny in me wants out:

"When Greg Louganis Dreams"

sally said...

My caption is: I fly through the air with the greatest of ease. People may stare, but I like the breeze.

And now I will share a lovely song my father taught me when I was a small child:

Once I went in swimmin'
where there were no women
in the deep blue sea.

Seeing no one there
I hung my underwear
upon a willow tree.

Dove into the water
just like Pharoah's daughter
dove into the Nile.

Someone saw me there
and stole my underwear
and left me with a smile.

sally said...

oopsie. I meant Pharaoh. Wheres the spell check when you need it.

sally said...

And where are the danged cap buttons and apostrophes? OK I quit. I will not read this over after it posts!

pat said...

Damn, I flew too close to the sun!

Ashes said...

hahahahahah! The Charlie Sheen quote one!!! YOU ARE CRACKING ME UP!

Ok: my go will not be as epic but:

*no belly flop, PLEASE NO BELLY FLOP!*

Or - to build on the Sheenable:

"I'm tired of pretending that I'm not a rockstar from outerspace. Haters!"

Ashes said...

And please, PLEASE Vicky, you've GOT to put Paula Deen on his back!

Terri Hoover Dunham said...

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's ... it's that damned Charlie Sheen again!

Liz said...

I wish those gladiators would stop throwing my toga in the river!

Anonymous said...

No Ball Games in the Pool Please

Catch My Words said...

Yianni searches for SpongeBob. He wants to borrow a pair of square pants to cover his round sunburn.

Catch My Words said...

Oops! He's not Greek; he's Roman. Well let's just call the fellow with the burned butt cheeks,"Cassius."

Sorry about that.

Unknown said...

My caption just for the fun of it(I already have your book!):

Young Archimedes wondered if the girls would notice he wasnt wearing his loincloth today...

Also, I don't mean to be a stick in the mud but that famous fresco is considered to be one of the rare surviving examples of an ancient Greek wall painting, rather than something from a Roman Villa. It was indeed found in Italy, but associated with a period of its History when it was part of territories occupied by Greeks. There is a great piece on the 'Tomb of The Diver' at the American Journal of Archaeology - which you can view here (pdf link)


Vicky Alvear Shecter said...

Thanks the comments, guys. This is FUN! Also, thanks Hasan for clarifying that this is actually a Greek painting in a Roman villa. Fortunately, that fact doesn't change any of the awesome captions that have been coming in.

Comatus said...

Unfortunately for Gaius, even a perfect dive would get him no better than a 3.6 from the East German judge.

Lauri JB Corkum said...

"Oops, I guess the water is on the other side of the diving platform."

Unknown said...

Fun contest. I'm taking the plunge. Here's my caption:

"Naked Nile Diving Team annihilates the competition."

Vicky Alvear Shecter said...

Man, these are all so great. this is gonna be a tough choice. I think i'm gonna pull in some outside judges!