New Cover for Pompeii Book!

Release date: May 27

At a Facebook party in celebration of  Stephanie Dray's latest novel, Daughters of the Nile, I posted the new cover for my upcoming novel, Curses and Smoke: A Novel of Pompeii. Only later did I realize that I had yet to formally announce the change here.

Oops.

So, ta-da!  It's striking and beautiful, isn't it? Plus, it connects visually with Cleopatra's Moon, which is awesome!

How lucky can one author be? 

My publisher decided to go with this cover over the one that is currently on the advanced reading copies (ARC). And while I will miss a special someone's biceps, they made the right call in terms of visual impact. I'm so psyched!

The book is being released in the U.K. in February to coincide with the Pompeii movie (Kit Harrington, aka John Snow!). The American version of the novel releases in May, just in time for some explosive (sorry) summer reading fun.

As much as I like Tag's biceps, this was too dark.

Keep watch for giveaways and promotions as we get closer to the release date.

Meanwhile, it's Friday and I usually post "Friday Funnies"--comics or visual jokes about the ancient world. Today, in honor of the new cover, I'm posting volcano jokes:

Q. What did the mother volcano say to the baby volcano?
A. "Don't erupt while I'm talking!"

Q. What did the volcano say its spouse? 
A. "I lava you."

Q. What did the lava say to the crater as it left?
A. "I pumice I'll be good!"

Groan. I know. Rest assured, there are no lame jokes in the novel. But I couldn't resist. It is Friday, after all!

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

It's been a while since I've included "Totally Looks Like" posts, so here ya go:

Friday Funnies--Italian Style

Usually, I try to find humor related to the classics of the ancient world. But today, in celebration of my fall trip to Rome, Ostia and Pompeii, I decided to go for an Italian theme:

(Where the question, "Would you like to 'Supersize that?" originated.)

http://shaaark.com

Friday Fun--Drag-Queen Cleo Style

I'm back from a family vacation involving regular dunkings into freezing rapids and screaming myself hoarse on a zipline. Which basically means I didn't have the time to scour the web and/or wrack my brain for anything funny (seriously, fainting takes a lot out of you).

I did, however, remember to bring Drag-Queen Cleo to the North Georgia mountains. And she had, as usual, something to say about everything:

 

Upon finding a cow, the queen proceeded to lecture it 

on the value of "adorning one's horns with gold."

A garland of flowers might help with that

bovine scent," she also suggested. The cow tried to eat her.

Mistaking a barn cat for the Sphinx, she again 

went into lecture mode. "Look," she said. "I love you and all 

that but you have GOT to come up with a better riddle, m'kay? 

That 'What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon

and three in the evening' crap is so TIRED. Liven it up! Go 

for something like, 'How many queens does it 

take to rule the world? One! Me!"

Drag-Queen Cleo refused to go rafting with us ("Honey, 

I don't DO water trips unless they're on my golden barge.") 

However, she was not above giving the photographer

tips on improving her work. ("Go for the drama," she advised. 

"If there's not enough blood, I'll gladly have one my 

guards spear the boatman for you next time...")

Drag-Queen Cleo refused 

to accompany us on the ziplines.

 That's us!

And that's me deciding to jump straight 

into the rapids, saving myself the

trouble of falling outta the boat.

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

"Careful. Don't grab the wrong sword!"

The morning after the Sigma Pi kegger...

Source: historicLOLs.com

How Harpies got their start.

Win a Free Book with Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

Let's have a contest! The person who comes up with the funniest line/caption for the following photo wins a free copy of my book, CLEOPATRA RULES!  This is, by the way, a fresco painting from an ancient Roman villa.

Post your line in the comment section or email me.  Here goes:

Meanwhile, here are my Friday Funnies for the week.

"Dude, I cannot believe I fell for it when you said riding naked didn't hurt!"

"All right, who put the growth hormones in the Ibis feed?"

"Hmm, if I put a bucket between chariot wheels, I could have the world's first port-a-potty, right?"

"When only the freshest sushi will do!"

Don't forget to give our ancient diver a funny caption. You could make a big splash AND win a free book!

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

Send me your funny lines for art relating to the ancient world! Meanwhile, here are mine, along with one from my favorite time-waster, historiclols.com.

"Please, PLEASE, don't make me get a Brazilian!"

"Wait, what? I can't hear you. You're breaking up. It's 'Hair of the Dog,' and NOT hemlock? Oh, okay. Excellent. Cheers!"

"Girl, we've talked about this! I play for the other team!"

From historiclols.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Funnies--On Saturday

Friday, I gave a speech at the West Virginia Junior Classical League conference. It was awesome and I loved being there. Thanks to Dr. Nicoletta Stella for inviting me!

Because I was traveling, I missed posting "Friday Funnies--Ancient Style." It didn't help that my computer tanked the day before I left (thank goodness I'd already written my speech!).  So, just to keep the tradition, I'm posting a couple here, courtesy of HistoricLols.com.

I love that site even though you have to dig a little to find more historical references. But never fear, I've done that for you!

So enjoy. I'll recap my wonderful experience with the Jr. Classical League in W.VA soon!

Be careful what you ask for...

Suddenly some paintings don't seem so classy anymore...

Beware angry ladies holding ferrets.

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

Welcome to Friday Funnies where we have fun with all things ancient (be sure to check out our earlier installments of Friday Funnies!).

Thanks to Paul Darnell of Hadrian's Wall Live (http://hadrianswalllive.blogspot.com/) for this contribution, a line from the romp, Carry on Cleo, by the great Caesar himself:

"Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"

"Please, I beg you. Do not make me wear those embarrassing shoes! 

It's not even close to  Labor Day!  I'll never live it down!"

via Lone_Spartan

"No really, I've got great aim. I'll just hock-up a big ol' loogie
 and when that boat comes near, I'll get 'em this time, I swear!"

Source: Fatkidatcamp.com

Don't forget, send me your captions and/or funny lines and I'll feature them here!

Friday Funnies--Ancient Style!

I had so much fun coming up with captions to pictures of ancient art last week, I decided to do a weekly funny page. Feel free to join in and add your own funny captions or artwork.  Enjoy!

"I told you if you made that face enough times it was going to
get stuck that way!"

Who knew the Macy's Day Parade Float had such an illustrious history?

Ancient doctor's visit: "Okay, now cough!"

Revealed: The real reason Ajax offed himself-- 

Odysseus's skirt was shorter and cuter.

What in Hades is this? I asked for TWO scoops!